Mission Accomplished
by The Authorman
Summary: Sarutobi realizes that Naruto will never have a normal childhood, not when he has the Kyuubi locked inside him. To this end, he assigns ANBU to guard and mentor the boy. After all, they aren't normal.
1. Mission Accomplished

_10 October, eight years into the second reign of Konoha's Sandaime Hokage_

His name is Fuindao Hatake, and he is ANBU. One of the Hokage's guards, to be exact. Sure, there are the two chuunin guarding the door, but against any serious threat they are chopped liver. And maybe chopped other parts, too.

This is why it does not surprise him when a scroll comes rocketing out of nowhere and hits him right between the eyes before rolling off the bridge of his nose and dropping into one of his outstretched hands. He opens it with a small _poof_ of chakra and begins to read. He feels the beginnings of a headache coming on as he finishes reading and pockets the scroll. And he was really hoping to go out drinking tonight, too.

Regardless of his plans, the mission comes first. So he steps out of the shadows and pulls his mask down over his face. A snarling dog covers his once-bland features and he ceases to become Fuindao Hatake, Konoha shinobi. He is now Dog, ANBU.

The buildings of Konoha's mercantile district pass by with blinding speed as he goes from rooftop to rooftop, moving as quickly as he can to his target. He does not bother with the body flicker technique: the amount of chakra he'd need to get where he's going would alert almost everyone in the area.

A small mob has already gathered at the target's apartment by the time he reaches it. He hopes to one of the many kami above that no one's gone inside. Ibiki will have his head and their screams if they have. A set of hand-seals later and he begins to move through the crowd, his chakra effectively suppressed. They move out of his way as he approaches, though whether this is because they sense something wrong with him or the fact that he's an ANBU, he doesn't know and doesn't care. He reaches the apartment building's entrance and pushes it open.

What he sees really doesn't surprise him. Graffiti covers the walls, almost all of it vulgar in some way or another. Here and there he spots long lines of black paint that can only be tally marks. He wonders idly if they're from the crowd outside or the boy within. Wherever they came from, the boy is not going to be around to see them much longer.

Ten steps beyond the door and he's standing in front of the boy's apartment, left hand tensed to draw one of his many kunai from its holster on his thigh. His right hand comes up and shoves the boy's apartment door open, the sound deafening in the almost-empty building.

His target is sitting with his back against the far wall, staring at the door. Dog strides inside, sandals impacting against the wood with each step. The boy looks up from behind blonde locks and his blue eyes lock with Dog's gray ones. Dog draws the kunai from the holster on his thigh, cocking it back over his shoulder as though he's about to deliver a mercy-kill to a dying opponent. In a way, maybe he is. The boy simply sighs and averts his eyes, waiting for the kunai to fall.

It never does.

After a few seconds, he looks back up to see the kunai extended toward him, handle first. "Uzumaki Naruto," Dog says, voice muffled behind his mask, "come with me if you want to live." Strangely, he feels like someone somewhere has said these lines before, but shakes it off as just after-effects of the bad sake he had last night. The boy stands, reaching for the kunai without a second thought. Dog lets him have it and allows his lips to curve ever-so-slightly into a smile.

Mission accomplished.


	2. Teachers

Morino Ibiki was not in a good mood. He'd been called to the Hokage's office to deal with the boy who is snoring lightly in a padded chair off to the Sandaime's side, a call courtesy of the ANBU commander. "So, you've finally gotten him away from the villagers," Ibiki starts.

"Yes. Tell ANBU-san I appreciate his help."

"I will. What do you plan to do with him?"

"Oh, it's not what _I _plan to do with him…"

"You can't be serious," Ibiki whispers, paling.

"Yet I am. You, and by extension the rest of ANBU, are going to become Naruto's guardian."

"Not like we weren't already," Ibiki mutters.

"So you should have no problem raising the boy between the lot of you."

"Hokage-sama, I really must protest. ANBU is no place for a child, discounting the fact that most of them wouldn't know how to raise one."

"And yet, that is exactly what they are going to do. Perhaps Danzo is right: with Kurama sealed inside him, the boy will never be anything more than a living weapon." Sarutobi takes a small puff on his pipe, the licorice-scented smoke curling toward the ceiling. Ibiki sighs, his scars pulling taut as his eyes slide shut.

"I only wish that had not come to this."

"Don't we all?" Sarutobi extinguishes his pipe and sets it aside before steepling his fingers. "Still, we must work with what we are given. Make Minato proud of his son, Ibiki."

"I will, Hokage-sama, I will." Ibiki turns from the Hokage's oaken desk to the chair containing the Uzumaki boy. He slides one arm under the boy's kneecaps, at the junction of his thigh and calf. The other arm hooks behind the boy's back, with Ibiki's hand clenching around his far arm.

Ibiki straightens. Naruto does not stir. "Even though he snores so lightly, he's an incredibly heavy sleeper," Ibiki notes as he leaves through the office's casement windows.

The trip to ANBU headquarters is short, its dullness tempered only by the fact that Naruto wakes halfway through and immediately bombards him with questions like "Who are you?" and "Where are we going?" Ibiki dodges all of them with a simple "Later" and continues moving.

They land in front of a small, nondescript office building and Ibiki sets the boy on his feet. The boy glances from Ibiki to the office building and back. "Where are we?"

"ANBU headquarters."

"I'm going to become an ANBU? Everyone will have to respect me then! Believe it!"

Ibiki reaches forward and plants his hand across the boy's face, silencing him, then begins to speak.

"First things first: you are not becoming an ANBU. Hokage-sama has asked that we teach you the Academy-standard curriculum, and that is all. If the teachers I have chosen for you decide to give you more than that, well, consider yourself lucky. Second, a quiet ninja is a good ninja. Now, follow me inside."

Properly chastised, Naruto follows Ibiki - _quietly_ - through the door. The room on the other side is bare, save the essentials of a desk, a receptionist to man it, and a pair of chairs to enhance the ruse of an average office building. The receptionist glances up as Ibiki enters with Naruto in tow. "Can I help you, Ibiki-san?"

"If you could find Anko and Hatake and tell them that I have the student we discussed, it would be most helpful."

The receptionist nods, stands, and disappears. The only mark of her passing is the open door on the other side of the room.

Naruto stares. Slowly, he turns to Ibiki, his eyes shining. Ibiki decides to nip the question in the bud. "No, the teachers I chose for you are not going to teach you that. It is a jounin-level technique, and you are not a jounin." Naruto pouts, but does not say anything. Instead, he clambers into one of the two chairs, with Ibiki taking the one opposite. "While we wait for your teachers, do you have any questions?" Naruto nods.

"Er, if the two teachers you chose are just teaching me the Academy-standard stuff, why not just send me to the Academy in the first place?"

"The Hokage feels that the Academy's teachers will not give you all of the teaching you require. Thus, he has assigned me the task of mentoring you, along with any others that I choose to assist me. Speaking of those others, here they are now." A kunai sails through the air and embeds in the fabric of the chair next to Naruto's cheek. The boy startles, catapulting himself forward and glancing around wildly. Ibiki simply reaches forward and tugs the weapon out before passing it to the purple-haired woman who suddenly appears next to him. "Ah, Anko, you're here. And where is Hatake?"

The man himself appears behind Naruto's chair a few seconds later, dressed in black with a snarling dog mask hanging from his hip. He grins. "You called, Ibiki-sempai?"

Before Ibiki can respond, however, Anko cuts in with "This is the kid you were talking about, yeah?"

Ibiki nods the affirmative, and then turns to Naruto. "Naruto, meet Fuindao Hatake and Mitarashi Anko. They are the teachers I was speaking of earlier."

Naruto's eyes widen as he glances from Anko to the kunai in her hand, and then back. "Nuh-uh! There's no way I'm going with that crazy lady!"

A vein pulses above Anko's right eye, "Crazy lady? I'll show you crazy, you little brat!"

Hatake wisely decides to intervene, hooking his hands under Naruto's armpits and yanking him backwards over the chair.

"We'll leave Anko-san to cool down a little bit, shall we?"

With that, Hatake and Naruto disappear, leaving Ibiki with a very irate kunoichi on his hands.

"I hope he realizes I'm going to get him back for this."


	3. Practice Makes Perfect

"What is a ninja, Naruto?" Hatake's voice is quiet as he leans against one of Training Ground Four's trees, yet his eyes are boring straight into the boy's own.

"A ninja is…" the boy pauses, unsure.

"A ninja is a weapon, to rented out to the highest bidder. He or she does what their Kage tells them, yes, but also what the client asks, as long as the two interests do not conflict. However, a ninja's loyalty is to village first, Kage second, and himself or herself third. He or she puts the needs of the whole over their own. Can you that, Naruto?"

"I think so, Fuindao-sensei."

"Good. We'll begin by training you in taijutsu."

"What's that?"

"Taijutsu is punches, kicks, that sort of thing."

"Oh, okay."

Slowly, Hatake begins to show Naruto one of taijutsu's many natural body stances, pushing and prodding him until the boy's form is correct.

"This stance is known as hachiji dachi, and is the basic stance for many of the so-called "hard" taijutsu styles."

"Hard styles? Shouldn't you be starting me on the easy stuff?" Naruto asks, a slightly irked look on his face.

"I don't mean hard as in level of toughness," Fuindao explains, breaking his stance to provide explanatory hand gestures. "The terms 'hard' and 'soft' refer to the amount of force a defender uses to stop an opponent's attack. A hard style, like the Goken of Maito Gai, is going to use as much force as possible to divert any attacks. The Hyuuga clan's Gentle Fist, on the other hand, uses flowing palm strikes laced with chakra to force an opponent to behave in a certain way."

"Chakra? Is that like the big wheel I see hanging in the weapons shop?"

Hatake laughs, lips curving slightly in mirth. "No, Naruto, that's a _chakram_. _Chakra_is a combination of physical and spiritual energy that can be used to do things like walk on water."

"Or appear out of thin air," Anko says, having appeared out of thin air herself. Naruto jumps nearly a foot in the air.

"Yes, that too," Hatake concedes, nodding, his brown spikes moving with every shake.

Anko glances from student to teacher and back. "So what have you taught him while I've been "talking" with Ibiki?"

"Just one of the basic taijutsu stances."

"That all? At least tell me you taught him a good one."

"Hachiji dachi. I intend to teach him hard styles, because he's got the physique for them."

"Feh. When you're ready to let the kid do some _real_damage, come find me." With that, Anko disappears deeper into the copse of trees that surround Training Ground Four.

"Where's the crazy lady going?"

"To blow off some steam, probably. Now, back to your stance."

As Naruto settles into the hachiji dachi, Hatake mirrors him, correcting any errors.

"Good. Now keep one fist at your side. Use the other for an uppercut."

Naruto's left fist comes rocketing upward, narrowly missing Hatake's chin.

"Again."

Naruto settles back into his stance, hands at his sides, as though he's simply lazing about. Hatake catches Naruto's wrist as he uppercuts, holding it in place. "Alright. We're going to keep practicing this one move until you can do it in your sleep."

Naruto opens his mouth like he's about to say something, but Hatake cuts him off.

"A word of advice: fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand katas once, but the man who has practiced one kata ten thousand times."

Naruto stares.

Hatake sighs.

"Practice makes perfect."

"Oh. Why didn't you just say that?"


	4. A Bitter Pill

**Author's Note: Should have mentioned this earlier, but this is my first Naruto fanfiction. Leave me a review to tell me how well I am (or am not) doing. Thank you.**

Day in and day out, Hatake trains Naruto in that exact same uppercut, until he can do it equally well with each hand. Until he can do it equally well with each hand while blindfolded. Or in his sleep. To test this, he surprises the boy by diving through his apartment window. The answering uppercut leaves him chuckling and rubbing a slightly bruised jaw. "Will you let me get some sleep now?" Naruto asks, fist still extended, green nightcap perched slightly sideways on his head.

"I think you've got that uppercut down solid, so yes, I will let you sleep," Hatake says, before affixing his ANBU mask and diving back through the window.

The next day sees Naruto throwing punch after punch at a large wooden pole. "Don't tuck your thumb into your palm. It prevents you from holding anything in the hand you're punching with."

"Why would I want to do that?" Naruto asks, taking a slight break from mauling the log. "Because it's a good follow-up move. If you're holding a knife, you can punch your opponent in the face, then bury the knife in his eye."

"What about just burying the knife in his eye as a first strike?"

"That works, too."

Anko appears behind Naruto, wrapping an arm around his neck. "And what if the opponent has you in a choke hold? What do you do then?"

Naruto's elbow to her stomach is his only response.

"Not a good idea, kid. Elbowing your attacker away from you is only going to make the hold tighten. Instead, prevent the chokehold in the first place by putting your hand in front of your neck. When your opponent wraps an arm around your neck, simply shove forward with your hand."

So it went as winter turned to spring and spring to summer. Hatake (the ANBU had asked that Naruto not call him Hatake-sensei) would show him one of the many katas he had up his sleeve, and Anko would appear at some point and throw a wrench in his plans.

Oftentimes, the "wrench" is a hail of kunai that appear out of nowhere, forcing the boy to dodge frantically or end up with multiple gut wounds. Depending on when Anko appears, Hatake either calls it quits for the day or passes Naruto's instruction to her.

Instruct him she does.

By summer he can mold enough chakra to form a single clone of himself.

In addition to ninjutsu, Anko teaches him what a kunai is and where to best place it in order to take an opponent down in as few hits as possible. Each lesson is not given freely, however, and Naruto ends up having to use each technique against her, with Hatake watching from the sidelines.

In any sort of fight, a jounin is going to beat a genin every single time. It's even less of a contest if the jounin's opponent hasn't even passed the Academy yet. Thus, Naruto ends up in the dirt more often than not, with a kunai buried in the soil next to his head to remind him that he was _this _close to a simulated death.

However, instead of giving up, Naruto simply yanks the kunai from the earth and charges back into the fray.

"He realizes he's just going to end up back in the dirt, right?" Anko pauses to consider Hatake's question as she watches three shadow clones of herself beat the boy black and blue. "I think so, yeah."

"So why does he keep doing it?"

"I keep doing it because I'm never going to give up!" Naruto shouts, evidently having heard their conversation over the sounds of flesh impacting on flesh.

Anko scoffs. "He's an idiot, but at least he's a determined idiot. Hopefully we can mellow that a little bit so he doesn't go charging into every fight he finds."

"Indeed. A good ninja knows when to run away, so that he may live to fight another day." At that moment, Naruto goes sailing through the air and lands hard on his back. Anko dispels her clones and walks over to stare down at the prone body of her student. "Give up yet?" she asks, extending a hand.

"Never!"

"If you can't learn when you're outmatched, you'll never become a ninja. No one will trust you if you don't know when to cut your losses and fall back. Do you want to send people to their deaths, Naruto? That's all you'll end up doing if you charge into every fight you encounter. Your comrades will die meaningless deaths, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself. So I'll ask you again, do you give up?" The boy's eyes shine with unshed tears.

"Y-yes. I give up."

The words taste bitter in his mouth.


	5. That Boy

For the second time, Ibiki finds himself being called into the Hokage's office. "Have a seat," the Hokage says, his pipe unlit and set to the side of his desk. 'Not some sort of major decision, then,' Ibiki thinks, 'otherwise he'd be smoking to calm his nerves.' He seats himself and waits for the Hokage to speak. "Do you know what day today is, Ibiki?"

"September twenty-seventh," the jounin replies, wondering where this discussion is going to go. "Have you decided what you're going to get Naruto for his birthday?"

The expression of bafflement on Ibiki's face makes the Hokage sigh. "I gave the task of Naruto's nurturing and education to the ANBU for two reasons: one, I needed to give the boy teachers that I knew would not try to sabotage him. Hatake is one of my bodyguards, and doesn't have a disobedient bone in his body. Anko, with her curse seal, knows exactly what it's like to be ostracized for something you have no control over. Thus, they make perfect teachers for the boy. Two, I wanted to see if raising a child would give the ANBU some of their humanity back."

"What do you mean 'give them some of their humanity back'? ANBU are just as human as every other ninja."

"Not in their minds, they aren't. At best, they have one or two harmless psychological quirks, like Kakashi's porn addiction. At worst, they're mindless killers simply waiting for someone to slip the lease off their necks. I was hoping that having Naruto in amongst them would help thaw a few of those head-cases out, but that's not very likely when no one spends any time with the boy outside of training."

"I see."

"No, I really don't think you do. Here," the Hokage scribbles an address down on one of miscellaneous pieces of paper littering his desk (unknowingly consigning Uchiha Sasuke to wait another year before joining the academy) and hands it to Ibiki. "Go to that address. Speak to the building manager, and ask to see apartment three."

"What am I going to see?"

"That rather depends on where you look."

Needless to say, when Ibiki knocks on the apartment manager's door later that day and shows him the Sandaime's note, the look of disgust and the muttered "oh, you want to see _that boy's _apartment" he receives is enough to pique his interest. Said interest is piqued even further when the manager leads him to the apartment in question and unlocks it before shoving the keys into Ibiki's hands and stalking off without even bothering to look back.

Ibiki pushes the door open.

The room on the other side is bare save a bed, a side table, a small desk, and a small kitchenette. Ibiki makes his way to the refrigerator and yanks it open. The smell that assails his nostrils makes him gag. Clamping one hand over his nose, Ibiki begins to root through it, removing anything that looks like it's gone even remotely bad. When he shuts the door, nothing is left but a carton of milk.

'Alright, that decides it,' Ibiki thinks as he walks out the door, locking it behind him and pocketing the keys. As soon as he exits the apartment building he brings his hands up into the ram seal and shunshins away.

He reappears at Training Ground Four. Hatake glances up from where he's been instructing Naruto in Heian Yondan, one of the many kata that branch out from the hachiji dachi stance. "Yes, Ibiki-sempai? Was there something you needed?"

"I need to talk to Naruto for a moment." The boy in question turns to face Ibiki.

"Huh? What is it?"

"Once you're done here, go get some rest. You and I are going to go see the Hokage tomorrow."

"What for?"

"You'll find out when we get there."


	6. Aw, Man

Uzumaki Naruto wakes bright and early, yet still manages to get his rest, as instructed. That's something he's been getting good at, following instructions. After the incident with Anko's clones at the training ground, his instructors are leery of giving him orders like that again. He can see it in their eyes, the way they flicker toward him then away, silently observant, as though waiting for the break that his one crack in composure may foreshadow.

He won't break. He won't allow himself to. A good ninja, a good _weapon_, does not break. It does its duty until it is sheathed for something that better suits the task at hand. Privately, Naruto hopes that his task never ends.

He allows these thoughts to carry him as he goes about getting ready, pulling on a mesh undershirt and its accompanying blue overshirt, then a pair of long, blue shinobi pants with hardened metal knee and shin guards. The entirety of the outfit is a gift from Ibiki, the early first part of a birthday present. Gone is the orange jumpsuit worn previously, burned by a bonfire on the third night of his training.

After all, kill-me-please-I'm-a-target-orange isn't really the best color for a ninja.

Opening the bottom drawer of his bedside table, Naruto removes three kunai (the minimum for active-duty shinobi) and slides them into the pouch affixed to his left hip. Satisfied that he is ready, Naruto strides out his door without bothering to lock it. Ibiki meets him at the entrance to the building proper, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his knee-length black trench coat. "Ready?" Naruto nods.

They walk towards the Hokage's Tower at a slow pace. It is an hour after dawn, and there is no real foot traffic to impede their progress. "Anko mentioned something about shinobi using illusions," Naruto begins, "who's going to teach me that?"

"I will, three days from now."

"Will I ever been done with training?"

"Truthfully?" The word is something of a joke between the four of them. After all, shinobi steal, lie, cheat, seduce, and murder. They do not deal with such noble things as _truth_. "You'll never really ever be 'done' with training. We may decide that you've reached the proficiency to become a genin and give you your forehead protector, but then we'll choose a jounin-sensei for you and he or she will simply train you more until you take the chuunin exams."

"And then?"

"And then, if you're lucky, you become a chuunin, and whether you train more after that is up to you."

The short conversation manages to make the distance from point A to point B seem like an instant, and soon Ibiki is striding inside the Tower with Naruto following closely behind. The chuunin at the desk barely acknowledges them, so frequently has Ibiki been coming to see the Hokage. He simply dismisses the blond boy behind him.

Ibiki and Naruto ascend the spiral staircase to the Hokage's office at the top of the tower. A door stands a few strides' distance from the last stair. When they reach it, Ibiki knocks thrice, each impact echoing off the oak.

"Enter." The Hokage's voice is soft, muffled by the door. They do so, with Ibiki ushering Naruto in ahead of him and shutting the door behind himself.

"What do you need, Ibiki?"

"I wanted to discuss that issue from yesterday, Hokage-sama."

"And which one was that? I deal with many issues each day, Ibiki."

"The issue of Naruto's living arrangements, Hokage-sama."

Here Naruto perks up. "My apartment's just fine!"

Both Ibiki and the Sandaime stare at him. "Please tell me that some of your prankster attitude survived Anko and Hatake's training, and that you are now joking," Ibiki mutters, his voice low.

"I'm not! My apartment's just fine!"

"Except it's not," Sarutobi cuts in, silencing any arguments the boy's about to make.

"If even the Hokage says your apartment's not fine, well then, _your apartment's not fine_!" Ibiki barks the last part of the sentence right in Naruto's face.

"Regardless of what you believe to be the condition of your apartment, Ibiki has an idea he'd like you to consider. Think of it as the second part of your birthday present." Naruto glances from the Hokage to Ibiki, waiting.

"If you would like to do so, the option is open for you to move into the ANBU barracks," Ibiki says.

"I thought I wasn't going to become an ANBU?"

"You're not. However, if you live at the ANBU barracks, it'll be that much easier for your teachers and myself to find you. You'll also be able to bug other people for training. Whether they train you or not is another matter entirely."

"Is there anything I need to do?"

"No. Just bring your gear back here and we'll head over." Naruto glances down at himself, then back up at Ibiki. "Okay, I'm ready."

"That's it? That's all you're taking?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's a fresh start. Don't people usually make fresh starts with very little?" Ibiki cannot refute that logic.

"…Fine. We're taking you shopping tomorrow, though."

"Can I get some exploding tags?"

"No. Not until you get your chuunin vest, at the very least."

"Aw, man…"


	7. When You're Older

**Author's Note: **For those of you confused by the "other Hatake", Hatake is his first name. Fuindao is his last name. In the Japanese naming system, his name would be Fuindao Hatake, just as Kakashi's name is Hatake Kakashi.

Anyway, on with the chapter.

"Shopping" ends up being Ibiki and Naruto moving from shop to shop, picking up the essentials of shirts, pants, underpants, and kunai.

Lots and lots of kunai.

Anko and Hatake join them about halfway through, with the kunoichi egging Naruto on ("Buy this! Buy that!) and sorely trying Ibiki's patience. Hatake simply stays to the back of the group, offering practical tips on what to buy, in sharp contrast to Anko's frivolity.

By the time they stop for lunch, Naruto has purchased five pairs of canvas pants; three mesh shirts, and several more shirts in various shades of blue and grey. The blue will be especially helpful when Naruto goes on nighttime missions, making him that much harder to see in anything but direct moonlight.

Lunch itself is a silent affair. The four of them sit on one Konoha's many rooftops, eating store-bought bento and watching the early afternoon traffic. "So where are the ANBU barracks, exactly?" Naruto pauses from shoveling tuna sashimi into his mouth to send a questioning glance to each of his three companions.

"Remember the office building we went to on your first day of training?" Naruto nods at Ibiki's question, picturing the building in his mind. "It's one building down the street on the right. Whatever you do, though, don't go into the structure between them."

"Why?"

"ANBU's field units use it for kidnapping practice."

"Kidnapping practice? Why would you have to practice a kidnapping? Isn't it just burst in, capture the target, and run like you've got a demon on your tail?" Ibiki laughs at Naruto's choice of words before continuing. The sound is like running gravel through a meat grinder.

"No. Always have a plan, so that you have something to fall back on if things go up in smoke. You need to plan kidnappings even more so, because there are thousands of ways that extricating person A from his luxury house can go wrong, not least the fact that person A probably _won't_ want to go with you."

"Okay. So, going back to the original topic, where exactly in the barracks am I going to live?"

"We'll find out which rooms are available when we get there," Ibiki says. "Speaking of which, we should probably head over there so that you can get sorted. Anko, if you would?" The special jounin nods before hooking both arms under Naruto's armpits and pulling him to her. "Hold on tight, kid," she mutters as she forms the ram seal, sending them both rocketing forward at high speeds.

"Never again," Naruto mutters several minutes later. His face is slightly green, and his three companions give him a wide berth, lest the food he ate earlier end up on their shoes or worse.

"Luckily for you, that's probably the last time you'll use that technique for some time. The next time you use it, you'll be in full control, I _promise_," Anko purrs the last word, sending shivers racing up Naruto's spine. Unconsciously, a small bit of blood trickles out of his left nostril.

"Now Anko, let's not break the boy _too_ early," Ibiki chides, a small grin opening his face like it's just another scar. Instead of dignifying him with a response, the special jounin sticks her tongue out. "Wait, what do you mean, 'break me too early'? I thought I didn't have to do torture training?" Naruto's question is innocent, but it sends the three jounin into fits of laughter. "We'll tell you when you're older, kid," Anko breathes out, wiping tears from her eyes.


	8. A New Home

The ANBU barracks is in the shape of a large square, the center of which is an indoor courtyard. "This is where we'll be training you from now on, unless you and I do genjutsu training, at which point we'll head over to ANBU headquarters," Ibiki says as he gestures at the neatly-trimmed green expanse which makes up most of it. Naruto nods, raising a hand to stifle a slight yawn. "And now we'll find you a bed," Ibiki says, making a 'follow-me' gesture.

Together they walk back through the courtyard to the entrance. Ibiki turns to the left wing of the barracks and begins walking, casually checking door handles. "What are you doing?" Naruto asks, noticing that Ibiki is only twisting each handle slightly before moving on. "I'm checking to see if they're locked. If they're locked, then they're occupied."

"How do you figure that?"

"A locked door is probably the most safety an ANBU is likely to get, considering that they may die on any mission they undertake."

"Oh."

"Yes. 'Oh'." Ibiki continues trying doors. Finally, one gives and he shoves it open. The room inside is darkened, and remains so until Ibiki flashes through the hand seals for a Katon jutsu, then calmly exhales a small amount of flame onto a waiting candle, bathing the room in a soft light. "What? No electricity?" Naruto's voice is deadpan as he stares at the candle.

"None. Cuts down on the maintenance costs and gives every single person who lives here just one extra weapon, should they not find any others handy."

"How can you do that much with a candle?" Naruto asks.

"Allow me to demonstrate," Ibiki says before extinguishing the candle, plunging the room back into darkness. Several seconds later the candle crashes forcefully into the top of Naruto's skull and sends him stumbling slightly. "See?" Ibiki's voice emanates out from the darkness before light washes into the room again as the candle is placed back in its stand and relit.

"Okay, I get it. Can I go to sleep now?" Naruto rubs his skull, already feeling the area where Ibiki struck him begin to bruise.

"Yes. Get up early tomorrow, though."

"What? Why?"

"Well, for one, you and I are going to be doing genjutsu training, and two, it's a good habit to take up, since it allows you more time in which to accomplish things," Ibiki walks back to the door and crosses through it, locking it from the inside as he leaves.

"Fine," Naruto mutters sourly, then dumps the bags earlier onto his bed, sorting the items inside into distinct piles. He takes the kunai and slides them into the bottom drawer of the bedside table to his left, then moves to the wardrobe across from it to put away the shirts, pants, and underpants, folding each piece of clothing neatly before setting it inside its assigned drawer. The underwear ends up in the top drawer, the shirts in the drawer underneath that, and finally the pants in the bottom drawer. The mesh shirts he hangs, so that the weave of each doesn't get tangled. With that done, he crosses back over to the bed and draws the covers back, climbing underneath them and pulling them over his body before blowing the candle out and letting sleep take him.

His sleep, however, is far from restful. Strange images flicker past his eyes, images of a man with wild black hair and red eyes, of a giant fox made of fire, and finally, as he begins to settle, of an organic-looking eight-pointed circle. The last thing he sees before he exits REM sleep is the fox howl silently as it is sucked into the circles, which glows with a bright light. The images stay with him as he sleeps, ensuring he will remember them come morning.


	9. Revelations

The first thing Naruto does after he readies himself the next morning is go find Ibiki, who is already in his office. "We need to go see the Hokage," he says, recalling the images from his dreams the night before.

"What for?" Ibiki asks as he looks up from finishing last week's paperwork.

"I had weird dreams last night."

"What kind of weird dreams?" Ibiki instantly begins to put together ideas in his head, going straight for the worst-case scenarios.

"Well, I dreamed about some guy with wild black hair and red eyes, a giant fox made of fire, and a circle with eight points around it. The fox howled, and then got sucked into the circle." Ibiki carefully schools his features, and then steps around his desk and grips Naruto on the shoulder, spinning him so that he faces the door.

"You are absolutely correct," he says as he marches Naruto out the door, "we _do _need to go see the Hokage. Now."

Thankfully, Sarutobi is not busy when Ibiki knocks on his door ten minutes later.

"What is it you need, Ibiki?" The Hokage puffs on his pipe as Ibiki ushers Naruto in ahead of him, then shuts and locks the door.

Naruto answers in his stead. "I've been having odd dreams."

"Define odd dreams," the Hokage says, fully aware of the types of dreams S-class shinobi have after years on the job, and desperately hoping that Ibiki isn't simply here so that he can console the boy about a few nightmares.

"A man with red eyes and wild, black hair. A fox made of fire, burning through a city of leaves. And finally, a fox howling for release as it is confined to prison eternal," Naruto finishes, eyes locked with the Hokage's. Sarutobi's jaw clenches, his teeth scoring divots in the stem of his pipe.

"Those would indeed be odd dreams," the Hokage says, removing his pipe from his mouth and setting it aside. "Is this the first time you've had them?"

"Yes," Naruto says, his eyes tracking the wooden object from the Hokage's moth to the table.

"Well, then I have something to tell you, though I had hoped to delay this at least until you were of age. What do you know of the nine-tailed demon fox, Naruto?"

"It attacked Konoha nine years ago. The Yondaime Hokage battled against it and slew it, at the cost of his own life." Even though he had never been to the Academy, Naruto knew Konoha's history well enough. His ANBU instructors had seen to that.

"Partially correct," the Sandaime says, picking up his pipe from the desk before him and examining the divots in the stem. "The demon fox did attack Konoha nine years ago, and the Yondaime Hokage did do battle with it, as the stories say. But that is where the stories and the truth cease to match up. No one could defeat the fox, Naruto, not even the Yondaime, great as he was. Instead, he called upon the Shinigami to seal away half of the fox's chakra, along with himself, inside its own stomach. Before he died he sealed the other half into a newly born baby, whose undeveloped chakra coils would not by harmed by the addition of the fox's chakra. I trust you know who that baby boy was?"

"Me," Naruto breathes, his eyes widening slightly in shock, blue briefly eclipsed by black. He sways, and then falls forward. Ibiki catches him under the armpits and lowers him gently to his knees.

"Yes, and though it is a burden you alone bear, rest assured that you protect us every day, simply by continuing to exist."

"Then why do the villagers hate me, if I carry this burden and prevent the fox from simply escaping and destroying Konoha?"

The Sandaime's lips compress into a hard line. "The villagers are prejudiced, and despite my directives and the Yondaime Hokage's wish that you be seen as a hero, they see nothing but the monster that destroyed the village nine years ago."

"What should I do, then?" Naruto's eyes bore into the Hokage's own, fixing him with a steely glare.

"Show them you are not the demon. Be conscious of your actions. Act as a proper shinobi should, and allow them to find no fault with you but ones which they conjure out of hot air."

"And what'll happen to those?"

"Oh, they'll blow over eventually," the Hokage says, grinning. Naruto tries to retain the serious look on his but soon he, too, is smiling.

"There is one thing I need to check before you leave, though," Sarutobi says, coming out from around his desk to stand in front of Naruto, who rises to his feet. "Lift your shirt and channel some chakra." Naruto does so and a black circle fades into existence on his stomach, surrounded by eight jagged lines. The Hokage's hand glows green as he runs it over Naruto's stomach. Finally, the green glow fades, and the Hokage steps back. "Everything seems to be fine. You may go."

Ibiki nods and unlocks the door. "Thank you for seeing us, Lord Hokage."

"It was no trouble," Sarutobi says as he sits back down at his desk.

As they leave, Ibiki turns to Naruto. "You realize that we're still going to do genjutsu training today, correct?"

"Aw, man," Naruto whines, hanging his head.

"Genjutsu is an important part of a shinobi's arsenal. It is not just casting a veil over the target's senses, but also disguising oneself so that he or she may flow into a crowd like a drop of water into a river. In fact," Ibiki says, grinning maliciously, "that's what we're going to start with."

Naruto gulps.


	10. Surroundings

"Genjutsu is not just about chakra. It also requires _imagination_. After all, you can't veil someone's senses if you have no clue what form you want the veil to take."

"O…kay," Naruto says slows as Ibiki leads him back to ANBU headquarters. "So I need to have an imagination? Not too hard, considering I was the village prankster for two years."

"Yes, that helps, but only with faking an area, like a house or a shop or something like that. What I'm going to teach you is how to veil yourself, to slip on disguises like clothes. Before you can do that with chakra, you need to do that with actual, physical clothes," Ibiki says as he gestures to a fat duffel bag and the long roll of cloth lying next to it.

He and Naruto are in the reception area of ANBU headquarters, the receptionist scribbling away behind her desk. "Here's your mission," Ibiki grins as Naruto begins to rifle through the duffle bag. "Make some sort of outfit from what's in there, then show it to me for thirty seconds _only_, before trying to either elude me for ten minutes or make your way the Hokage's tower. Got all that?"

Naruto nods, then holds up a green shirt and brown pants. Ibiki nods and steps outside, giving the boy a little privacy to change. Once he's done, Naruto walks over to the receptionist, who glances up at him from whatever paper she's writing on. "Er," Naruto begins, conscious of the blank stare on the woman's face, "do you know how I can get out of here without using the front door?"

Silently, the woman points to the door opposite her desk. Naruto nods his thanks and turns, exiting without a word. Since it is almost time for lunch, he decides to find some place to eat.

Instead of going to the market and buying a bento, as is his usual, Naruto simply allows himself to blend into Konoha's foot traffic, waiting for something to catch his eye.

Eventually, something does: it is a small stand, the banner above its bar-style seats proclaiming it to be "Ichiraku Ramen". Naruto takes a seat at the bar, the seat swiveling slightly underneath him as it accommodates his weight.

"How can I help you?" The man behind the bar passes Naruto a single-page laminated menu, and then steps back to give him some time to decide. After few seconds' perusal, Naruto hands the menu back. "I'll have one pork ramen, Mister…"

"Teuchi."

"One pork ramen, Mister Teuchi," Naruto repeats, this time with the addition of the man's name.

"Coming right up," the man says as he turns toward his cooking station. The ramen bar is silent save for the sound of cooking noodles. "So what brings you here, kid?"

"Just looking for some place to get a bite to eat while I wait out my sensei."

"Oh, so you're a genin?" Teuchi sets a bowl of steaming noodles down on the counter, then a pair of disposable chopsticks wrapped in a paper sleeve.

"No, he's not," says Ibiki, stepping up to the bar from out of nowhere. Naruto sighs.

"And here I thought I'd be able to avoid you for ten minutes _at least_," Naruto mutters, mostly to himself.

"Well, you did get close. Only half a minute left on the clock."

Naruto brightens. 'Please, please, just say I passed!'

"Close only counts with explosive tags. Better luck next time."

Naruto sighs, then wolfs down his ramen.

"If it's any consolation," Teuchi says, "that bowl's on the house."

"Thank you, Mister Teuchi," Naruto replies as he sets his chopsticks atop the empty bowl and stands, following Ibiki out the door.

"What now?" Naruto asks as he and Ibiki head back toward the ANBU headquarters building. "Now I'm going to teach you how to both disguise yourself and how to lose someone who's tailing you," Ibiki says.

"This isn't going to entail more hide-and-seek, is it?" Naruto's voice is slightly sarcastic.

"Eventually, yes. For the moment, it'll be most classroom style lessons."

"And where, exactly, is the classroom?"

"You'll find out tomorrow. For now, head to Training Ground Four. Fuindao and Anko are waiting for you."

The blonde nods, and then splits off from Ibiki, who heads in the opposite direction.

He keeps his head down and shoulders forward, moving quickly through the crowd, who wisely step out of his way.

Training Ground Four, when he gets there, is empty. With nothing better to do, he crosses the field to the copse of trees that separate it from the fence of Training Ground 44 and sits with his back against one of them.

The rough bark presses into his back every time he shifts, preventing him from dozing, as he'd liked. This is just as well, since it enables him to dodge out of the way of the trio of kunai that come speeding toward his head.

The kunai are only a feint for the fist that comes crashing into his stomach, doubling him over in pain. Anko grins at him from behind the fist, and then slams it back into his stomach, pitching him to the earth.

Hatake walks up behind her, spinning a kunai on his finger. He kneels, wrenching the three kunai from where they're embedded in the base of the tree. As he rises, he slides the three kunai into one of the pouches on his vest. "And today's lesson is?" He stares down at Naruto's prone form.

"Don't fall asleep?"

"Close," Hatake says, hauling the boy to his feet. "Watch your surroundings. Yes, you dodged the kunai, but if you had looked where you were going, you could have avoided Anko's fist, as well."

"The next time someone sends sharpened pieces of metal hurtling toward me, I'll try to look left and right," Naruto bites out sarcastically.

"They were dull. Besides, your opponents are going to give you no such leisure." Hatake punctuates his statement with a right cross, forcing Naruto to duck under his fist. The blond replies with a sweeping kick, intent on sending Hatake into the dirt and finishing the fight. The ANBU jumps over his sweeping leg, shoving at Naruto as he lands. Off-balance, the blond topples backward into the dirt with Hatake standing over him, fist extended to strike.

"Sweeping movements expose your leg to the opponent. Be prepared to counter both a shove and an opponent yanking you down with him."

Naruto rises, nods, and slides into a stance.

Hatake simply answers him with a high kick to the head.


	11. The Genin Exam

**Author's Note: Not sure if I mentioned this, but there's a poll on my author page. If you read this story and enjoy it, please vote.**

**Also, I know this one's a little short. I apologize both for its shortness and the delay in posting the previous chapter.**

Naruto ducks under Hatake's incoming leg and moves backward, giving himself some breathing room. The two combatants circle each other warily, waiting for gaps or lapses in concentration.

All of a sudden, Hatake brings a hammer blow arcing downward toward Naruto's skull. The blonde catches it and yanks the jounin toward him, then head-butts Hatake in the face. As one, they step away from each other. The jounin's nose is dented slightly, like someone opened up the skin and scooped out a piece of bone. Blood dribbles out of his left nostril and down his chin.

He wipes it away and grins at Naruto, making a 'come-hither' gesture with his bloodied hand. Naruto strikes with a series of quick punches aimed at Hatake's midsection. The first two are blocked easily. The third punch, however, is a different story. Instead of blocking it, Hatake grabs Naruto's oncoming fist and uses the genin-in-training's forward momentum to dump him over his shoulder.

"Nice try," Hatake says, turning to face the prone Naruto.

"I only scored one hit," the boy says from the ground.

"Sometimes, one hit is all it takes. Besides, if you show as much creativity scoring that one hit as you did today, you'll do just fine."

"With what?"

"In the long run? Being a ninja. Your short-term goal, however, is the Genin Examination at the end of the week. Personally, I think you'll do just fine on the taijutsu portion."

"And what about the ninjutsu portion?" Naruto's voice is slightly quieter than normal, as though he dreads the answer Hatake might give.

"That's for me to decide," a feminine voice quips from next to Naruto's ear. He freezes as he feels the pricking of a kunai's cold steel blade across his throat. His hand comes up and he shoves the kunai away before elbowing Anko in the stomach.

He flashes through three quick hand seals and suddenly a copy of himself poofs into existence. The copy is dispelled almost immediately by Anko's fist. "Good, one down," she says, crossing her arms. "You need to make two more, though." Naruto concentrates, running through the hand seals for the clone technique again. A second clone pops into the clearing, followed soon after by a third. The third clone, however, looks lighter than the first and second, as though someone drew it out in pen and then took an eraser to it.

"What's up with my third clone?" Naruto points to the construct in question, which looks down at itself then back it him, its expression quizzical. "Too much chakra," Anko replies, knowing exactly what caused it.

"Wouldn't that make the clone better, though?" Unfortunately for Naruto, they really haven't taught him much jutsu theory, focusing instead on the practical skills needed by a shinobi. Anko decides to give him the layman's version.

"Imagine that your clone is a balloon. What happens when you overfill the balloon and then try to use it?"

"It pops," Naruto says, not really seeing the connection.

"Exactly. And what would have happened if you had tried to make a clone with too much chakra?"

"It would have – oh, okay, I see where you're going with this."

"Good," Anko uncrosses her arms and claps him on the shoulder. The hand withdraws and comes arcing downward again, this time bearing a kunai. Five hand seals later and the kunai strikes a log instead of join between Naruto's shoulder and his collarbone. "Quick thinking is always good, kid," Anko says. "A plus on the body replacement technique. Now let's see how good your transformation technique is. Turn into whomever you'd like."

Naruto flashes through the dog, boar, and ram hand seals. A plume of smoke envelopes him as he completes the jutsu. When it clears, a carbon copy of Ibiki is standing in his place.

Anko circles Naruto's transformation, checking for any obvious discrepancies. "Pull off your forehead protector," she directs. Naruto-as-Ibiki does so, removing the cloth cap and its attached metal plate. In their place is a scalp devoid of hair and scars. "Nice try. 'A' for effort. You missed the scars on his head, though."

The transformation dissolves and Naruto stares back at her. "What scars?" His voice is curious.

"Ask Ibiki about it sometime."

"Alright. So now what?"

Anko pulls a sheaf of papers from her jacket and hands them to Naruto. "Keep these safe. Let no one see them, and deliver them to Ibiki tomorrow. You're dismissed." Naruto nods, tucking the papers under his arm and leaving the training ground.

As soon as he's sure that Naruto is out of earshot, Hatake moves to stand next to her, hands slid into the pockets of his pants. "Think he'll pass?"

"He'd better," Anko replies, grinning sadistically. "If he doesn't, I'll rip his arms off and shove him over a cliff."

Hatake winces slightly, shuffling as far away from Anko as his feet will take him. "Remind me never to piss you off."

"Never piss me off," she says, grin sickly-sweet.


	12. Pass Or Fail?

**Author's Note: The poll on my author page closes at the end of the month. If you have already voted, would you please do me the favor of PMing me the reason for your vote? I am honestly curious. Also, for those of you that frequent it, I have a TVTropes page up for this fic. Feel free to support it.**

Day after day, Hatake and Anko drill Naruto, forcing him to demonstrate _this _move or _that _jutsu, often with no pause between each command. This, they tell him, is because a shinobi never knows what he'll being doing when and that having the basics down as second nature will ensure that he's never caught flat-footed.

Secretly, Naruto believes it's just because they want to torture him.

In a way, he's right, because any torture he endures now will be torture he won't have to endure later, under a less-forgiving jounin-sensei. Regardless of the reason, their training leaves him bruised and tired at the end of each day.

Finally, the last day of the week comes. When Naruto wakes, instead of finding Hatake or Anko standing over him, waiting to haul him out of bed and to Training Ground Four, he finds Ibiki leaning against the wall and poring over the papers Anko had given him last week.

Ibiki notices him stirring and glances up. "Get ready," he says, voice unhurried, "we have an hour." Naruto glances at the clock, which reads nine AM on the dot in blocky red paper numerals. Yawning slightly, he rolls out from underneath the covers and stalks to the wardrobe at the end of the bed, pulling out pants, underwear, a mesh undershirt, and a blue overshirt. The metal guards that usually cover his shins are hung over one of the bars that protrudes from each corner of his cot.

With his clothing sorted, Naruto moves past Ibiki and out of his room, down the hall to the bathroom. Thankfully for him, there's no line, as almost all of Konoha's ANBU left three hours beforehand. He showers quickly and changes, folding the night's clothing in a neat stack so that he can wash it when he returns. With that task done, he heads back to his room and collects his shin guards, along with his kunai and shuriken pouches. The shin guards go on first, and Naruto ensures that they are strapped tightly and do not move.

Next comes his shuriken pouch, attached to the outer part of his left thigh at about hand height, ready for easy access. The last thing he puts on is his kunai pouch, which is strapped to long belt that he threads through the two equidistant loops in his pants, one on each side of his waist. The kunai pouch ends up resting over the top of his right thigh.

With his preparations done, Naruto turns to Ibiki, who tucks the papers under his arm and pulls the door open, closing it behind him after Naruto steps through. Instead of escorting him to the Academy, Ibiki hands Naruto one of papers from the sheaf under his arm. "What's this?" Naruto stares at the paper in his hands.

"It's a map," Ibiki says, as though it should be obvious.

"So that you can get to the Academy."

"Why aren't you taking me?"

"How do you think that would look, if you came to the Academy escorted by a special jounin from T&I?"

"Like I'd received advanced training, which I have."

"They don't need to know that. Besides, it'll come as quite the rude surprise to the Academy instructors."

Naruto nods in understanding and grins, prankster spirit flaring to life. Glancing down at the map in his hands, he easily finds the large 'YOU ARE HERE' star next to the ANBU barracks.

From that starting point, it's a simple matter for him to trace his finger from the star to the Academy building and back, memorizing the route and any landmarks that occur within it, in case he gets lost.

With that settled, Naruto tucks the map into a pocket and heads out through the crowd. He passes Ichiraku Ramen on his way, nodding to Teuchi as he continues through the crowd.

Finally, he sees the spire of the Hokage's tower on the horizon. The Academy and the tower share the same building; so being close to one is the same as being close to the other. Naruto powers on, moving quickly through the playground located at the front of the building and entering the Academy proper.

He removes the map and glances down at it again. Written in block letters in the bottom right corner is a room number: 54, to be exact. He memorizes the number and tucks the map back into a pocket of his trousers. 'Fifty, fifty-two, fifty-three, ah ha! Here we are, room 54.'

Naruto reaches for the handle and turns it, pushing the door open slowly. On the other side of the portal are two chuunin, identified by the green vests they both wear. One has white hair that hangs down to either side of his pale chin. He stands about five feet, ten inches tall. The other stands about two inches shorter. His build is slightly stockier, and there is a long, unhealed scar across his nose. He extends his hand to Naruto, beckoning him inside the room. "Hello. My name is Iruka, and this is my assistant, Mizuki. You're Uzumaki Naruto, correct?"

Naruto nods, stepping inside the room. At the moment, only one other child is there, a girl. The girl has indigo hair that falls to her neck. It obscures her face, also, preventing him from seeing her eyes. She is dressed in a tan jacket and blue pants.

Her index fingers twitch together every so often, betraying her nervousness. This goes on for ten minutes. More students filter in, in ones and twos. Eventually, Naruto reaches forward and grabs both of her hands, forcibly yanking them apart before either index finger can make contact. "Will you _stop _that?" His voice holds an undercurrent of irritation that he doesn't allow to the surface. The girl stares at him in shock.

"I-I'm sorry," she stutters slightly.

"It's fine to have some sort of nervous tic, everyone has one, but at least make it _useful_. For example, plan out scenarios in your head," Naruto says, releasing her hands.

"What kinds of scenarios?" The girl stuffs her hands in her pockets.

"Any kind," Naruto replies, "so long as it's something that could logically happen."

"If you two are done with your little chit-chat," Iruka says, bringing them both back under his influence, "we're about to begin."

"Yes, Iruka-sensei," Naruto mutters, chastised.

"Alright. Naruto, since none of us have really met you before, why don't you give us a little introduction to yourself before you go first?"

Naruto turns to the other children in the classroom. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto," he says, and then turns back to Iruka. Since nothing else is forthcoming, Iruka gestures to three chairs set off to the side. "If you can, replace yourself with one of those three chairs." The blonde nods, then flashes through the five hand seals for the body replacement technique. He reappears in the chair's place a second later. "Good, good," Iruka comments, marking some things down on a clipboard he'd picked up from the table next to him.

"Now make three clones." Three hand seals later, there are four Narutos standing in the room. "Excellent," Iruka says, accompanied by an approving nod from Mizuki. "Last up is your transformation. Turn into whomever you'd like." The three clones dispel in puffs of smoke that also mask Naruto's hand seals. When they clear, in their place stands Iruka, rubbing the scar across his nose. The real Iruka circles the copy.

"Since I can see no immediately glaring discrepancies, it's on to the taijutsu portion of the exam. Mizuki will spar with you while I proctor. If you are forced out the ring, to the floor, or you tap out, you lose. Get ready."

Both combatants nod, then step into the ring. Naruto settles into one of the stances Hatake taught him, both hands held low and relaxed. In contrast, Mizuki's hands are in front of his face in the classic boxing position. "Begin," Iruka barks as he steps out of the circle. The two circle each other before Mizuki steps in to deliver a trio of punches towards Naruto's midsection. The first two punches Naruto turns aside with his forearms. With the third punch, however, he grabs Mizuki's arm and yanks the chuunin forward before driving a knee into his groin. The man stumbles backward, remarkably still on his feet, though his eyes are clouded with pain.

Mizuki straightens woozily, still wobbling slightly from the pain. "Nice hit," he hisses through clenched teeth. "Thank you," Naruto replies, striking for his abdomen this time. The chuunin turns away his blow and answers with one of his own, an uppercut meant to send the genin-elect rag dolling out of the arena. The blond dodges away and brings his hands up in a hammer blow. It connects with Mizuki's head, the impact sending him to his knees. The white-haired man holds up a pinkie.

"I give," he says as he hobbles out of the ring. Iruka nods, turning to Naruto. "Good job. You pass. Forehead protectors are over there," the chuunin points at a table resting innocuously near the door where Naruto first entered. "They don't have to protect your forehead, though. In fact, not that many people I know actually _wear_ them on their foreheads. So wear yours wherever you'd like. Just take one and you'll be set."

Naruto nods and thanks him before heading over to the table and picking up one of the metal-and-cloth bands. He tucks it into the same pocket as the map before striding out the door. 'I'll decide where to tie it later. Right now, I need to go find my senseis and tell them the good news.'


	13. Celebration

**Author's Note: Thank you all for your reviews. There's a new poll up, so please vote.**

Hatake, Anko, and Ibiki are clustered together in the ANBU headquarters when Naruto gets there. Anko glances up at him, then back down at the cards in her hand. They are playing oichi-kabu and appear to be on their last hand. Ibiki taps the deck once and both Hatake and Anko turn their cards over. Hatake wins with an eight. As Ibiki shuffles the deck back together, he turns to Naruto. "So, what's the verdict?"

"I passed," Naruto says, pulling the metal-and-cloth band out of his pocket and presenting it to Ibiki. The jounin inspects it, then unfolds it and shakes it once, smoothing out any folds or creases in the cloth.

"Where do you want it tied?" He holds one end in each hand, gripping them with his thumb, index, and middle fingers.

"Just across my arm for now, please." Once that's done, Ibiki claps Naruto on the shoulder.

"I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Ibiki-sensei. What do I do about my genin team? Since, y'know, I never went to the Academy and don't know anyone there."

"The four of us will talk to the Hokage tomorrow and see if he has any ideas."

"Thank y—wait, the _four_ of us?"

"Of course. You want to be there to provide an opinion, right?"

"Yes."

"Well," Anko says as she cuts between them to drag Naruto toward the headquarters entrance, "now that we've got that figured out, _let's celebrate_!"

And celebrate they do. The first place they visit is Ichiraku Ramen, in order to tell Teuchi the news. Teuchi is not the only person there when they enter, though. Working alongside him is a girl of about Anko's height, with long brown hair tied back in ponytail.

"Who are you?" Naruto asks as he digs into the bowl of miso ramen she sets in front of him.

"My name is Ayame. I'm Teuchi's daughter. He's told me about you."

"Ah," Naruto says, both in response to Ayame's statements and as a general expression of content.

"So what brings you here, Naruto?" Teuchi steps up from the kitchen with three bowls of ramen set on a tray in his hands. He places one bowl each down in front of Ibiki, Anko, and Hatake, who nod their thanks.

"I passed my genin exam," Naruto says, twisting his left arm so that the leaf symbol is showing.

"Good job," Teuchi, says, setting a second bowl down in front of Naruto. "This bowl's on the house, as is your earlier bowl. Have a good rest of the day." The boy nods once and then Teuchi moves away to serve other customers. Once Naruto finishes the second bowl, Ibiki rises and sets a couple ryo notes on the counter to cover his, Anko's, and Hatake's meals.

"There's no need, Ibiki-san," Teuchi says, walking back over to pick the bills up.

"I insist," Ibiki says, sliding his wallet back into his coat and crossing his arms, almost daring the ramen stall owner to defy him. Teuchi simply sighs in response.

"Fine."

"Thank you. Ready to go, Naruto?"

Naruto stands from his stool and follows Ibiki, Anko, and Hatake out, smiling at Teuchi as he passes.

"Where are we going next?" Naruto glances at each one of them.

"The blacksmith's shop down the road here," Hatake says, moving to the front of the group.

"What do we need there?"

"You'll see when we get there," Hatake replies. He leads them down the street to a building with the word "Kagiya" written on a banner over the entrance.

"Here we are," he says, pulling the door open and allowing the other three to enter first. A bell rings from above the door as it opens. The man at the counter glances up from re-arranging a katana in its stand.

"Can I help you?"

"You can, Kagiya-san," Hatake says, stepping forward and extending a hand, which the man shakes.

"Ah, Hatake-kun! I haven't seen you since this time two years ago. Why do you not visit me?"

"I haven't had the time, sir," Hatake replies, looking sheepish.

"Bah. More like you simply came in to see my daughter."

"Ooh, Hatake's got a girlfriend!" Anko teases, stepping up to the counter.

"She. Is. Not. My. Girlfriend." Killing intent laces each word, causing the temperature in the shop to plummet to near freezing for a few seconds.

"Now, there's no need for that," Kagiya-san says, his breath visible in the air. Hatake relaxes and the temperature slowly returns to normal.

"So what was it you needed?"

"This is the student I spoke to you of earlier, Kagiya-san," Hatake pulls Naruto forward. "His name is Uzumaki Naruto."

"Hello, Naruto," Kagiya-san says, extending the same hand Hatake shook earlier. Naruto grasps the man's hand and shakes it. Kagiya-san's palm and fingers are calloused, no doubt from prolonged usage of a wooden-handled hammer.

"Hello, Kagiya-san," Naruto echoes, releasing the blacksmith's hand.

"Give me one second to get the items Hatake-san asked me for earlier today." The blacksmith turns on his heel and disappears into the back of his shop. A few minutes later he returns, carrying a wrapped package about a foot in length. He stops in front of the counter and passes the package across it to Naruto. Slowly, the blonde teases the ties off of each end of the wrapping and then sets it on the counter, unfolding each edge of the material. Nestled inside is a tanto in a utilitarian black sheathe devoid of all decoration save a small spiral carved about halfway down the length of the sheath. The grip is wrapped in black cord and there is no guard between the blade and the sheathe. Gently, Naruto lifts the blade out of the material it is nestled in and glances to Hatake, extending the sheathed blade. The jounin holds up a hand.

"That blade is for you. Congratulations on passing your genin exam, Naruto. Anko will be the one to teach you how to use it, as I was never one for the sword arts."

Naruto smiles and buckles the blade low across his back.

Today is officially the best day of his life.


	14. Picking Teams

The next day sees Naruto, Anko, Ibiki, and Hatake standing in front of the Hokage's desk. There are three folders resting on the desk, each marked with a number corresponding to the team whose dossiers it contains.

"So, Naruto, what would you like to do? You can stay in your apprenticeship with Ibiki, Anko, and Hatake and eventually join ANBU, or we can put you on a genin team and see how you develop from there. If you decide to join a genin team but cannot decide on which, well, we'll simply shuffle you between teams as needed until you find one that you like. How does that sound?"

Instead of responding, Naruto picks up the folder marked '7' and flicks through the documents inside. The team is slated to be led by Hatake Kakshi and is comprised of Haruno Sakura, Hideaki Takuji, and Tomika Kaoru. Under Kakashi's dossier, there is a small slip of paper reading "Pass Rate: 10%". Naruto closes the folder and sets it back on the desk.

"This is the first team that Kakashi's passed, correct?" Hatake asks as Naruto flips through the folder marked '8'.

"It is," the Hokage replies, face scrunched in a slightly irked expression. "Maybe we shouldn't have taken him out of ANBU after all."

The first picture inside is of a woman with shoulder-length brown hair and red eyes. Her dossier lists her name as Yuuhi Kurenai. The boy in the picture under hers has a dog on his head. His dossier lists him as Inuzuka Kiba, one of the members of the Inuzuka clan and most likely second in line for position of heir. Next to his picture is one of a girl with blue hair and white eyes. Her name, listed under her picture, is Hyuuga Hinata. 'That's the girl from yesterday, the one who kept poking her fingers together. Hopefully she grows out of _that_ habit'. Also listed under Hinata's picture is her status as the current Hyuuga clan heiress. Without even looking at the third member of the team, Naruto sets the folder back down.

"What's wrong with Team Eight?" Ibiki picks up the folder and leafs through it before setting it down also.

"Nothing's _wrong _with them. I just think that their families will force Kurenai to coddle them, and I'd really rather not be coddled," Naruto replies, then turns back to the Hokage without even picking up the folder marked '10'.

"I guess you can sign me up for Team Ten."

"Aren't you even going to look at their dossiers?" Sarutobi settles the other two folders together into one pile.

"I don't think I need to. They're probably going to be better than a former ANBU with too-high standards and a jounin whose students' families are probably going to force her to coddle them."

"If you insist," Sarutobi says, opening to folder marked '10' and jotting down the name 'Naruto Uzumaki' on the first sheet of paper. "You'll meet up with Asuma on the day after tomorrow, at noon."

"Why not just meet with him tomorrow?"

"I'm giving you a day to arrange yourself and ensure that you're ready to meet a new teacher who may be nothing like the three who have taught you before and, in a least one case, will teach you again," The Hokage gestures with his pipe at the tanto strapped across Naruto's back.

"Speaking of which," Naruto says, turning to Anko and tapping the handle of his tanto, "when are those lessons in how to use this thing slated to begin?"

"Tomorrow," Anko replies, "and every day you're not doing anything with your team."

"Why not start today?" Before responding, Anko glances over to the Sandaime Hokage. The old man nods, his head barely moving. The special jounin switches her gaze back to Naruto. "You're ready to start today? Fine, we'll start today." With that, Anko grabs Naruto by the collar and yanks him toward the window.

"Hey! Why couldn't we just go through the–" Naruto begins, but is cut off as Anko yanks the windows open and forms the ram hand seal.

They reappear on a rooftop several hundred feet away. "—door," Naruto finishes. He then proceeds to paint the ground with his breakfast.

"This way was quicker. Now follow me." Resignedly, Naruto straightens and follows after his teacher.

The pair arrives at Training Ground Four a few minutes later. "Alright, first things first," Anko begins. "This is a tanto, a dagger. It is not a sword, but you should still treat it with the same respect you would give a sword. That means you don't throw it, you don't plant it in the ground in order to help yourself stand, and you _most definitely_ don't drag it along the walls as you walk, no matter how intimidating the noise might be."

"Er…alright. So what _should _I do with it?"

"I'm about to show you." Calmly, Anko yanks the tanto from its sheath and then flips it so that the blade extends downward from her hand. "This is what's known as a 'reverse' or 'ice pick' grip. It's good for downward stabs and mercy kills, should you be required to give any." She passes the tanto back to Naruto, extending it toward him hilt first.

The blond takes the tanto and slides into a ready stance, holding the dagger in the ice pick grip Anko has just shown him. He charges the special jounin, who draws a kunai and parries each stab and thrust the genin makes.

On the next stab, Anko shoves the tanto to the side and slams her foot in into Naruto's chest. The dagger drops from his hands as he falls to his knees and empties his stomach into the grass.

"That's a good enough start for today, don't you think?" Anko grins and picks up the tanto, edging around the rapidly expanding pool of vomit to slide it back into its sheath.

"Make sure you go to Training Ground Ten tomorrow to meet up with your new team," she calls as she forms the ram seal and shunshins away.

Naruto's only response is to flop backward into the grass.


	15. Team Ten, Part One

"He's late," Ino moans, drawing out the last word and leaning against the tree behind her. She glances around at Shikamaru and Chouji. "Don't either of you _care_?"

"Not really," Shikamaru says, not bothering to move from where he's sprawled in the grass of Training Ground Ten, staring up at the clouds. Chouji nods in agreement, chip crumbs flying with each shake of his head. The second Chouji's head stops shaking, a shuriken comes whickering out of the tree line and slams into the bark an inch from Ino's head. She screams and dives to the earth. Next to her, Chouji rises, as does Shikamaru. The three of them stare into the trees, waiting.

The person that comes out is not who they expect. Instead of an armed assailant, they see Asuma, followed by a boy with blonde hair, dressed in dark blue.

"Hello," Shikamaru says to the boy. "What's your name?" Instead of responding, the boy crosses to the tree where Ino had been leaning earlier and yanks the shuriken from the bark, then begins to spin it lazily around his finger.

"You'll have to forgive Naruto," Asuma says, removing a cigarette from a pack stored in his flak jacket and lighting it with a Katon jutsu. "He's not much of a people person."

"No," Ino replies icily. "He's more of a 'throw-a-shuriken-at-someone-for-fun' kind of person." Naruto's eyes flicker from hers to the shuriken and back.

"It wasn't 'just for fun', as you said. The three of you looked complacent, and complacency breeds idleness, which, in turn, will eventually lead to your deaths."

The shuriken in his hand stops spinning as he regards the three of them. "Spar against me?"

"All three of us?" Ino's voice conveys her disbelief just as much as her expression does.

"Not all at the same time, no, but since you spoke up, would you like to go first?"

Ino glances nervously at Asuma, who nods his approval.

"Ready?" He glances at both of them, removing his cigarette and stubbing it out under the toe of his sandal.

"When you are," Naruto says, gesturing to Ino.

"Ready," she confirms.

"Go," Asuma barks, his voice loud enough for both genin to hear.

Naruto immediately goes on the offensive, sending an uppercut rocketing toward her chin.

She steps backward and responds with a roundhouse kick aimed at his head. Naruto uses his already-extended hand to grab her leg and haul her downward. Ino hits the ground with a thump as Naruto draws his tanto and settles it point-first under her chin.

"Do you yield?" The tanto does not waver. She feels the side of the blade tickling the bottom of her jaw. She does not respond.

"Fine," Naruto says. There is a slight pinch where the skin of her neck meets her chin. The tanto pulls away, a small bit of red gleaming dully on its tip.

"First blood," Asuma calls as Naruto wipes off his tanto and sheathes it. "Winner, Naruto Uzumaki."

The boy in question extends a hand, ready to help Ino to her feet. Instead of taking it, she rolls into a ball and pushes herself upright. The hand falls back to Naruto's side. "We're supposed to be a team," Naruto mutters. "Teammates help each other."

"Yes, they do," Ino concedes, blonde hair flying as she nods. "They don't stab each other in the throat, though."

"How else was I supposed to prove I won? You weren't going to yield, so I figured that we were fighting to first blood and acted accordingly."

Ino simply huffs in response.

Next to her, Shikamaru draws a kunai and steps into the area Asuma designates as the 'ring'.

In contrast, Naruto does nothing, simply settling his palms by his sides.

"Ready?" Asuma's voice carries along with the smoke from a freshly lit cigarette. Both genin nod.

"Go."

Shikamaru stabs downward with the kunai, forcing Naruto to move backward or be disemboweled. However, he catches the next stab and shoves it aside before slamming the back edge of his other hand into Shikamaru's throat and driving his knee into Shikamaru's stomach. The black-haired genin drops, kunai tumbling from his fingers and into the grass.

Immediately, Naruto gets to work, scooping up the fallen kunai and kneeling next to the fallen genin. He places two fingers under Shikamaru's Adam's apple, searching for the cricoid cartilage.

"What is he doing?" Ino moves to stare over his shoulder and is treated to a full view of Naruto making a half-inch by half-inch incision in Shikamaru's throat. "Oh kami," she gasps as Naruto pinches the incision to open it. With one hand holding the incision open, Naruto roots around in his kunai holster with the other, searching for something to enable Shikamaru to breath. He finds a five-pack of plastic straws with an attached note from Anko and tears one of them open.

The straw gets threaded into the incision in Shikamaru's throat.

"Ino, come here," Naruto calls.

"What for?"

"Shikamaru needs air, and I think he'd rather wake up to you than wake up to me."

Grudgingly, Ino kneels next to Shikamaru and begins breathing through the straw.

"Give one breath every five seconds. Stop once he begins to breathe on his own," Naruto says, rising and walking over to Asuma.

"I apologize," he begins, "I figured he'd be able to move out of the way."

Asuma's eyes narrow. "Well, save moves like that for when you know he can dodge. In the meantime, be more careful."

'Hopefully,' Naruto thinks as he moves to check on Shikamaru, 'we can get these three to the point where I won't need to be careful.'

He steps up next to Ino, who is still breathing into the straw. "Switch off."

She rises and he moves to take her place. At that moment Shikamaru's eyes flutter as his chest begins to rise and fall.

"Chouji," Naruto barks. "Get over here!" The large genin moves over from his position next to Asuma, stowing his bag of chips as he does. "Can you go take Shikamaru to the hospital?" The large boy nods, but is stopped by Asuma, who lifts Shikamaru bridal-style and shunshins away, leaving Naruto with Chouji and a just-now-beginning-to-vomit Ino.


	16. Team Ten, Part Two

**Author's Note: If anyone feels like writing omakes or one-shots based on my story, go ahead and do so. In the case of omakes, if you send them to me, I will include them in the next chapter.**

"So what was it that you did to Shikamaru?" Chouji asks as he watches Naruto wipe the blood off Shikamaru's kunai and stow it in his own pouch. Next to him, Ino continues to vomit, though the expulsions of breakfast soon turn into dry-heaves as she empties her stomach.

"Well, the maneuver is known as a reverse knife hand. What I did afterward is called a cricothyrotomy or emergency airway puncture. It's used in cases of extreme facial trauma in order to allow to patient to breathe," Naruto explains.

Ino looks up, wipes her mouth, and glares at him.

"You didn't need to watch," he points out. "However, it's good that you did. You're going to see a lot worse out there in the real world."

"What are you talking about? This _is _the real world!" A vein pops over Ino's left eye.

"Is it? Allow me to educate you. Right now, there are children in the Village Hidden in the Mist who are starving while you simply starve yourself for a better figure. The children in their Academy _kill _for the right to graduate. Have you ever killed anyone, Ino?"

The blond genin goes silent and lowers her eyes. Naruto offers her a grim smile.

"That's a good thing. When you kill someone, it takes away a part of you that you can't ever get back."

"How do you know that?" Chouji asks.

"It's obvious," Naruto says. "If you simply take a good, long look at some of the higher ranked ninja. Almost all of them have quirks, whether they are in personality or manner. Take Asuma, for example. The man smokes like a chimney. Or Kakashi. All he does is read porn and stand around staring at the memorial stone."

"Obviously he knew someone whose name is on it," Ino defends.

"Yes, that's all well and good, but to stand around staring at it for two hours a day? The man's got issues."

"I do not have issues," the man in question says, appearing in the clearing with book in hand.

"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here?" Ino uses the question to disguise the fact that Kakashi's appearance nearly gave her a heart attack.

"Asuma's still at the hospital with Shikamaru, as are his parents." The jounin glances over at Naruto, lone eye flicking from one blond genin to the other and back. "Was a reverse knife hand really necessary in an introductory spar? I know that your teachers taught you to care for your comrades, but I don't think ensuring that said comrades couldn't go on missions by putting them in the hospital was really what they had in mind."

"None of them seemed to be taking it seriously," Naruto says.

"I see. So you figured you would make them take being a ninja seriously by almost fatally injuring a teammate? I'm disappointed."

Naruto sighs.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to keep the three of you company until Asuma gets back."

"And how long will that take?"

"About an hour or so. In the meanwhile, why don't you," Kakashi points to Chouji, "and you," this time the finger is jabbed in Ino's direction, "spar?" Both genin breathe a simultaneous sigh of relief at not having to spar against Naruto. They turn to face each other.

"Ready?" Kakashi's voice is a monotone.

Ino and Chouji nod.

"Begin."

The two genin circle each other, waiting for an opening in each other's defenses.

"She's going to win," Naruto mutters.

"The match hasn't even really started yet, so what makes you say that?" Kakashi doesn't even glance up from the orange-jacketed book he's immersed himself in.

"Chouji's easier to hit than she is."

"He also hits harder." Indeed, the larger genin does hit harder, as evidenced by a punch to Ino's stomach that sends her toppling into the earth. Kakashi glances up from his book long enough to mutter "Winner, Akimichi Chouji" loud enough to be heard.

"What now?" Ino rises from where she's been sprawled in the grass and dusts herself off.

"Well," Kakashi says, not bothering to meet her eyes as he turns the page, "now that you've beaten the crap out of each other, I guess it's time for introductions, yes?" He glares at Naruto as he says that last bit. Naruto, in turn, glances from Ino to Chouji to Kakashi.

"What do you want in this 'introduction' of ours?"

"Name, likes, dislikes, goals, hobbies," the jounin turns another page. "The usual."

"Alright, fine." Naruto sighs. Public knowledge about oneself is the enemy of every good shinobi.

"My likes are bento, some types of ramen, and taijutsu. I dislike lazy people. At the moment, I don't really have any goals. My hobbies include taijutsu training with Fuindao-sensei and live spars with Anko-sensei." Here Kakashi's lone eye widens slightly.

"I knew the Hokage put you under ANBU supervision for your own safety, but you _spar_ with that woman?"

"Err…yes?"

"Unbelievable. I'm surprised you're still in one piece," Kakashi says, following with a long, low whistle.

He turns to Ino.

"Other blondie, you're up next." Ino clears her throat.

"My name is Yamanaka Ino. I enjoy ikebana and onigiri, especially with pickled plums. I dislike idiots and those who hurt their friends. My goal is to marry a certain person." Her eyes glaze over slightly even as Naruto rolls his own. 'Honestly, you're not even a teenager yet. Why worry about marriage so early?'

"No hobbies?" Kakashi doesn't even look at Ino as he says it, instead going straight back to his book.

"Just ikebana, really."

Without waiting for a signal, Chouji clears his throat and begins. "My name is Akimichi Chouji, and I enjoy eating and good food. I dislike people who judge others based on appearance. My goal is to open a restaurant that becomes as good as my father's restaurants are. My hobbies include cooking and baking."

"Well," Kakashi says, "thank you for the information. I'll compile it all into a dossier and submit it to your sensei. Speaking of which, here the man comes now, no doubt to give you your first D-rank mission." No sooner has Kakashi finished than Asuma walks into the clearing, twirling a scroll marked 'D' in his hand.

He grins around the cigarette in his mouth. "Ready for your first mission, kids?"


	17. A Mission And A Meal

**Author's Note: There's a new poll up on my profile page. Please vote. **

"So what do we have to do for this mission?" Naruto keeps his eyes locked on the scroll twirling in Asuma's hand. Asuma tosses it to him and he unrolls it. Naruto's eyes scan down the scroll before snapping back to Asuma.

"You're kidding, right? _Pulling weeds_ qualifies as a D-rank mission?"

"I most certainly am not kidding. Who do you think ensures the village's upkeep?"

"Okay, but why do _we _have to do it?"

"Are you really arguing about this? Let's just get the mission done and get paid," Ino snaps.

Naruto rolls the scroll up and passes it back to Asuma, who tucks it into his vest. The jounin raises an eyebrow.

"Let's get this thing done," Naruto says.

"Follow me, then."

As one, Ino, Chouji, and Naruto follow Asuma away from Training Ground Ten and back into Konoha proper.

"So whose weeds are we picking?"

"No one's in particular. Rather, we're picking the weeds around the Academy grounds, so that it looks somewhat presentable to whomever comes to visit."

"Won't the weeds just grow back, though?" Chouji asks, already munching on a bag of chips.

Asuma shrugs. "I assume so. At that point, we'll either be contracted out to pull them again, or it'll be foisted on one of newer genin teams." At that moment, they reach the Academy building and Asuma ushers them inside.

Immediately, Iruka accosts the four of them. "Right this way, please." He guides them through the Academy's hallways, stopping at a closet marked 'Supplies'. From the closet he withdraws three scabbarded hori-hori knives and three pairs of pruning shears, passing one of each to Naruto, Ino, and Chouji, respectively.

He shuts the closet without a word, beckoning for the three of them to follow him. As they're led away, Naruto glances back at Asuma, who waves jauntily and disappears in a puff of smoke.

"Asuma ditched us," he mutters, just loud enough for Ino and Chouji to hear. Ino grimaces, but it quickly shifts into a smile.

"Not like we need his help anyway. My parents run a flower shop, so I know a good bit about weeds. We'll get this done in no time."

Iruka glances back to them at that.

"You will, will you? Clearly, you've never had to pull the Academy's weeds before, or seen any of the genin teams pull them." With that, he throws open a pair of doors at the end of the hallway he's led them through.

The sight that greets the three genin is a large flower garden, brimming with exotic plants and, of course, exotic weeds.

"There's a flower garden behind the Academy?" Naruto glances at Ino to supply the answer to his question.

"Who do you think buys most of my family's flowers? Ninja aren't exactly fans of decoration, you know. Anyway, let's get to work." With that, the three of them begin moving through the flowers, digging up weeds where they can and cutting down any weeds that can't be cut down. Several times, Ino has to yank either Naruto or Chouji back, lest they remove a particularly weed-like flower.

By sundown, though, they are done. Dirty, tired, and with muscles aching, three-fifths of Team Ten troops back into the Academy. Iruka glances up as they approach him. "'We'll get this done in no time', eh? Clearly, our respective definitions of 'no time' differ, Ino-san." The blonde girl just huffs before shoving her gardening tools in Iruka's face.

"Well," the chuunin says, "now that your mission is done, I'll go write up a completion notice and find your sensei. If you could meet us at the front of the building, please?" The genin nod and move toward the front of the Academy.

Once the three of them leave, Iruka ducks into an empty classroom and pulls out a scroll, a bottle of ink, and a small brush. The completion notice is done in seconds and sealed with a bit of wax bearing the Academy's seal. Iruka tucks the scroll into a pocket in his vest and leaves the room, intent on finding Team Ten's sensei.

It turns out that Asuma is waiting outside with the rest of Team Ten. Iruka presses the rolled-up and sealed completion notice into the jounin's hands, then turns back to Academy to help the other teachers close up.

"We're done here, kiddos," Asuma drawls, lighting a cigarette.

"Aren't we going to turn in the completion notice, sensei?" Chouji's question comes between bites of salty, fried potato.

"Nah. Your parents are probably expecting you home. Besides, the missions desk closes when the Academy does. Have a nice night." With a wave, Asuma walks off, leaving the three genin by themselves.

"So…" Chouji breaks the silence. "Would anyone like to go for teppanyaki? I'm quite sure my father will want to hear about our first mission and who better to help me tell the story than my own teammates?"

Naruto scratches the back of his head, slightly sheepish. "Sure, I guess."

"What about you, Ino?"

"I guess I could."

"Alright then. Follow me," Chouji says, leading the way toward the teppanyaki restaurant.

As they walk, Ino notices the glares that the villages keep sending their way.

"Why do they keep glaring at us?"

"They're not glaring at you, they're glaring at me," Naruto mutters.

"Why?" But the blonde-haired boy refuses to respond, instead pushing past Ino and Chouji and moving further down the street, forcing them to either pick up the pace or lose him in the crowd.

Finally, the three of them arrive at the teppanyaki restaurant and step inside. The server at the desk smiles as she sees Chouji, Ino, and Naruto enter. "Ah, Chouji-kun, Ino-chan! Can I help…you?" The last word trails as she catches sight of Naruto.

"Yes," Chouji says, not noticing her pause. "We'd like a table for three, please."

"If you'd all follow me, I'll show you to your table." The hostess leads the three members of Team Ten to a booth situated in the far corner of the restaurant.

"Here you go."

"Thank you," Chouji replies, gesturing for Ino and Naruto to go first. The other two sit and soon the chef appears, lighting up the grill with a flick of the wrist. There is no conversation as the chef proceeds to put on a show, catching eggs in his hat, flicking still-hot shrimp and pieces of beef into each genin's mouth, and, for a finale, creating a volcano out of onion rings.

With his show done, the chef leaves the three to their meals. Ino is the first to break the silence.

"So why was everyone glaring at you earlier?"

"I can't say. All I can tell you is that you'll need to ask your parents."

'Even that's probably saying too much,' Naruto thinks as he drops a couple ryo on the table to cover his portion of the bill.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," the blond genin says, walking quickly out of the restaurant.

"Wonder what was up with him?" Chouji asks, glancing over to Ino as he pays his portion and hers.

"No clue. I intend to find out, though."


	18. Calling The Old Man Out

**Author's Note: Figured I'd write a chapter in which Naruto doesn't appear. I thought it turned out pretty well, but what do you guys and gals think?**

"Dad?" Ino's voice carries into the foyer as she steps through the front door of the Yamanaka clan compound.

"Yes, dear?" Inoichi meets her in the foyer and gestures for her to take a seat as he does the same. "What held you up?"

"We had dinner at a teppanyaki restaurant. It was kind of odd, though: on our way there, everyone kept glaring at Naruto. When we asked him about it, he just told us to ask our parents."

"Alright. So what is it that you're asking me?"

"Why do people glare at Naruto?"

"Well, he did pull quite a few pranks before the Hokage remanded him to ANBU."

"_ANBU_? Isn't that a little harsh for a few pranks?"

"Harsh though it may be, the Sandaime's word is law."

"But he's just a kid!"

Inoichi sighs.

"He's not 'just a kid'." Inoichi's voice rises with each word. "No matter what you may have seen, what you may have heard, Uzumaki Naruto was never 'just a kid'." He rises, leaving a slightly open-mouthed Ino to the silence of the foyer as he steps out the front door of the Yamanaka compound.

Perhaps a walk will calm his nerves. Perhaps he will walk down to the house of his friend Chouza, who is no doubt having the same conversation with his son that Inoichi has just finished with his daughter. And perhaps they can steer the two genin in the right direction.

Yes, a walk will do wonders for calming his nerves.

"Ino," he calls, grinning slightly as he hears his daughter's jaw click shut with the sound of teeth impacting teeth. "I'm going for a walk."

"Alright, Dad." The last thing he hears as he shuts the door is his daughter rise from where she is sitting and move further into the house, no doubt toward her bedroom.

The walk from his house to Chouza's is not far, no more than a block at most, if it is even that. The only sounds are Inoichi's soft footfalls on the dirt pathway. He reaches Chouza's house quickly and raps thrice on the door, knuckles impacting loudly on the hard wood.

The door opens with a creak of non-oiled hinges. Chouza himself stands on the other side, hand still braced on the door handle.

"Come in," he says. "Chouji's just gone to sleep, so if you'd like to go out drinking, now's the time to do it."

Inoichi steps inside and shakes his head.

"I actually came to ask you a couple questions."

"Such as?"

"When Chouji got home, did he ask you about Uzumaki Naruto at all?"

"The blond kid? Just asked me why people keep glarin' at him all the time."

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him to look through his history books. Why, what did you tell Ino?"

Inoichi sighs. 'Chouza's handled this better than I have. So much for being Chief Interrogator.'

"I might've let slip more information than I originally intended. And you know Ino: once something intrigues her, she won't let it go."

"And why, exactly, are you trying to get her to let it go?"

"The boy's got enough to deal with already. He doesn't need people snooping into his background and then fleeing, screaming in the night, when they don't like what they find."

"And you're afraid Ino will not like what she finds?"

"No, I think she'll accept it eventually. What I'm afraid of is that she'll tell someone who _doesn't _like what she's found out and proceed to only make things harder for Uzumaki."

"Ah," Chouza says, nodding. "What would you have me do?"

"Stonewall them. Misdirect them. In the meantime, I will go talk to Ibiki."

"Ibiki?" Chouza raises an eyebrow. "What's he got to do with anything?"

"Until Uzumaki Naruto turns eighteen and inherits his father's name as per the Sandaime's law, Ibiki is his primary guardian."

"And what are you going to talk to him about?"

"I am going to ask him if he would give me permission to speak with Naruto on a few things."

"Such as?"

"I'm not quite sure yet. There might not _be_ anything I need to ask him about right now, but keeping tabs on him will definitely be a boon."

"How so?"

"You remember his father."

"I'm not quite sure who you mean," Chouza says with a slight smile.

"How can you not-" At that moment Inoichi notices Chouza's smile. "You know exactly who I mean. And if the boy is anything like his father at all, he's definitely someone to watch."

"And if he's not? What if he decides, after reaching chuunin rank and being allowed to do solo missions, that he just wants to forget us all and become a hermit?"

"That's his choice. Have you ever noticed, though, that it's only really the strong ninja that become hermits?"

"Like Tsunade?"

"Exactly." Inoichi moves back to the door and pulls it open to take his leave.

"Have a good night, old friend, and perhaps I will take you up on that offer to drink sometime in the future." With those parting words Inoichi takes his leave, closing the door silently behind him. Early tomorrow, after he is sure that Naruto has left to train with Team Ten, he will seek out Ibiki. After that, he'll go see the Hokage.

He has some questions for the old man.

And, as a friend of the family, he believes that he's entitled to a few answers.


	19. Following Orders

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay. I was caught up in schoolwork and didn't have much time for extra-curricular writing. Anyways, please enjoy the chapter, and please review.

An alarm clock trills in the darkness, alerting its owner that the time to rise has come. A pale hand snakes out from underneath the covers and slams into the alarm clock, silencing it. The hand retreats to pull back the covers, revealing Inoichi Yamanaka's haggard face. The jounin blinks once, then sits up and pulls his sheets aside. His feet collide with the wooden floor as he pushes off the bed and stands, stretching slightly. As part of Konoha's corps of torture and interrogation specialists, he often worked long hours. Long hours mean little sleep, and, as such, waking at nine hours after midnight is a rare occurrence for Inoichi. The sleep does him good, however.

He will need to be well rested if he is going to get any good information from his sessions with Ibiki and the Hokage today. "Speaking of which…" Inoichi mutters to himself, checking his clock. The paper numbers read 9:10 AM. He resets the alarm to its normal time and strides out of the room. A quick, cold shower clears his mind. He takes a second, warmer one to clean himself.

With that done, Inoichi dresses in slightly more formal attire than he would normally. Instead of the red jacket that he wears when on missions, Inoichi dons the black overcoat that is the main uniform of Konoha's interrogation corps. Gone also is the wrap of bandages across his leg. He ties the band containing Konoha's symbol across his brow. The metal plate gleams in the weak light of his room. Satisfied that he's dressed as well as can be, Inoichi leaves his house, shutting and locking the door behind him. Instead of using the body flicker to get to ANBU headquarters, he decides to walk. After all, with Ibiki as his second, he can afford the time. The man could run the division by himself if he had to.

Maybe, one day, when Inoichi decides he's weary of torturing people and ripping their secrets out with a well-placed jutsu, Ibiki will inherit command from him.

Inoichi takes a moment to think about it, and then snorts. 'Not bloody likely.'

This thought carries him until he gets to ANBU headquarters. The receptionist glances up and nods to him. The quill in her hand, however, never pauses or wavers. Inoichi pauses above the open trapdoor that leads to the headquarters of the interrogation corps. He raises an eyebrow at the receptionist. "Do you ever stop writing?"

The receptionist doesn't even look up, simply nodding as she continues to write. Inoichi sighs and descends the stairs, pulling the trap door shut above him. Ibiki comes up to him as he steps up the ladder, a sheaf of papers clenched in one fist.

Inoichi sighs. "More paperwork? I miss the times when they just let us get on with our jobs. Now it's paperwork this, paperwork that. Who cares who a prisoner's next of kin is? They're going to be dead anyway."

"Indeed," Ibiki agrees as Inoichi takes the papers from him and looks through them. The first few are standard interrogator reports detailing a certain prisoner's age, sex, home village, rank, and identification number. Inoichi ignores the rest of the papers as he steps into his office, setting them down amid the skyline of reports that covers his desk.

"Before we get cracking," Inoichi motions for Ibiki to sit somewhere as he takes the chair behind his desk, "I'd like to ask you a couple of questions."

"About what?"

"Naruto."

"What about him?"

"Well," Inoichi leans back in his chair, "what's he like? Ino isn't able to tell me all that much about him."

"I don't see him all that often, sir. Birthdays and holidays, but that's about it. Besides, who knows more about Naruto than Naruto himself?"

Inoichi nods, deliberating. "When next you see him, escort Naruto down to the Yamanaka compound. If he asks why, tell him I'd like to speak to him. Now, could you do me a favor and take over for an hour or so? I need to pay a visit to the Hokage."

Ibiki grins. "With pleasure, sir."

Satisfied that his second-in-command will have things under control, Inoichi rises from his desk and walks out of his office. As he moves down Konoha's busy streets, Inoichi debates what he's going to say to his Hokage. The first question that pops into his head is 'Why would you do this to a hero's son?' So the boy would have enemies, every ninja did. Even as a jounin, Minato Namikaze had enemies. But his friends were plentiful, many more than willing to look after their deceased leader's only son. He wonders, briefly, why the Hokage hadn't considered any of their requests.

Inoichi himself had put forward one such request and this partly the reason he goes to visit the Hokage's tower this day. He stands in front of the door, ready to wrench it open and march up to the Hokage's office without delay, as is his right as one of commanders of Konoha's forces. He pauses to consider, however, and opens the door slowly instead of wrenching it off its hinges. The chuunin at the desk glances up at him as he enters, waving him up to the Hokage's office with a casual hand.

Inoichi sweeps up the stairs and knocks twice on the Hokage's door. The Hokage's voice, muffled by the wood of the door, calls for him to enter. He pulls the door open and steps inside. Sarutobi Hiruzen locks eyes with him as he enters, smoke curling away from his pipe with each puff.

"What is it you need, Inoichi-san?"

"I'd like to talk to you about something, Hokage-sama."

"And that something is what, exactly?"

"Uzumaki Naruto."

The Hokage smiles slightly under his hat, then pulls his pipe from his mouth and extinguishes it with a flick of his fingers.

"What would you like to know about Naruto, Inoichi-san?" The jounin decides to get right to the point.

"Why did you suppress the truth of his parentage?"

"It was not I, Inoichi, but the civilian council. They refused to believe that the Yondaime, great ninja that he was, could not slay the Kyuubi. When presented with evidence to the contrary, namely the man's own son with the Hakke no Fuin Shiki materialized on his belly, they still refused to believe. After all, the Yondaime Hokage would _never_ sacrifice a child to contain such evil, especially not his own son. They believed that the Naruto was not an actual child, but a vessel specifically created by the Yondaime to contain the Kyuubi. The fact that the child cried like all newborns do was of no import to them. They insisted that I destroy Naruto. I refused. They countered by spreading what they thought of as the truth to rest of their acquaintances."

"Surely they must know now that Naruto is not the Kyuubi, considering that it has been ten years since the incident?"

"In truth, I do not think the populace cares." Here the Hokage grimaces. "To them, Naruto and the Kyuubi are one and the same."

"Why not send him away, then?"

"To where, exactly? Jiraiya wouldn't be much of a teacher, even if he is the boy's godfather. And we have no clue where Tsunade's gone." Inoichi nods, conceding the point.

"Now that you have learned, Inoichi-san, what is it you intend to do?"

"You assigned ANBU to raise the boy. I am simply going to follow orders."


	20. Concurrently, Part I

**Author's Note: **Sorry for such a long wait between chapters. I've been bogged down with finals and such. I'd also like to direct people again to the TVTropes page for Mission Accomplished and remind them about the poll.

Since he's done much earlier than he thought he would be, Inoichi decides to check up on Shikamaru at the hospital. The walk from the Hokage's office to the hospital is not far, but it gives him a chance to decide what he's going to do with the rest of his day. 'Hm. I wonder if they gave Uzumaki a psychological examination before they let him graduate? Probably not. Eh, no time like the present. Besides, it'll give Ino and Chouji a chance to talk without Naruto around, which would be good if they decide to talk about him.' With the rest of his day decided, Inoichi continues on his way to the hospital.

The nurse at the reception desk smiles as he approaches. "What can I do for you, Yamanaka-san?"

"Is Nara Shikamaru ready to be released from the hospital?" The nurse turns to a shelf set into the wall behind her and pulls out a book marked 'N'.

"Nobunaga…Nodakichi…ah, here we are." The nurse's finger stops next to Shikamaru's name. "Says here that he's ready to be checked out. However, he's going to need to come back for vocal therapy."

"Vocal therapy?"

"Yes. I have his whole medical report here if you'd like to read it."

"I think I'd best leave that, along with the task of checking him out of here, to his parents," Inoichi demurs. The nurse shuts the book and puts it back in its spot on the shelf, then turns back to him with 'are-you-serious?' writ large across her face.

Inoichi simply smiles and bows before turning and striding out of the hospital.

His next stop is Team Ten's training ground. Asuma is just leading them away when he arrives. "Excuse me, Asuma-san, but could I borrow Naruto for the rest of the day?" Team Ten's jounin-sensei looks from his team to Inoichi and back, then sighs.

"Fine."

Inoichi grins for the second time that day, then motions for Naruto to follow him. The genin complies, nodding to Ino and Chouji as he exits the clearing with Inoichi.

"I wonder what Dad wanted Naruto for," Ino muses aloud.

"What your dad wants Naruto for is his own business," Asuma says before lighting up a cigarette.

"What are we going to do without Naruto?" Chouji asks through a mouthful of chips.

"We could visit Shikamaru," Ino suggests.

"We could," Asuma agrees, walking out of the clearing and leaving Ino and Chouji to follow. The three of them walk to Konoha's hospital at a leisurely pace, each wrapped up in their own thoughts.

The nurse glances up from where she's sat behind the reception desk when they enter. "Hello, Sarutobi-san, Yamanaka-san, Akimichi-san. What can I do for you three today?"

"Is Nara Shikamaru able to receive visitors?" Asuma asks.

"He is," the nurse replies with a nod.

"What room is he in?"

"Twelve. Sixth room on your right."

"Thank you. Come on, then." The two remaining genin of Team Ten follow Asuma down the hallway and into the hospital proper.

There are no doors, just entranceways with opaque rubber curtains. Each curtain is spaced about five or so feet apart. Some of the curtains are drawn, preventing the genin and their sensei from seeing the people inside. When they reach Shikamaru's room, the curtain is pulled to the side. Voices emanate from inside. One is Shikaku's lazy drawl. The second, in counterpoint, is Yoshino's clipped, imperious speech. Between them is Shikamaru's voice, low, dry, and utterly bored.

Asuma knocks once and the voices stop. There is silence for several long seconds. Then, Yoshino's voice. "Come in." The three members of Team Ten walk into the room. "We just came in to visit Shikamaru," Ino starts. "But if this is a bad time –"

"No, it's fine," Yoshino assures her. "In fact, we were just getting Shikamaru ready to check out."

"It's good we came when did, then," Asuma says as Shikaku nods slightly at him, making eye contact with Yoshino at the same time.

"Yoshino, dear, would you and Ino escort Shikamaru to the receptionist so we can get a head start on checking him out?" She locks eyes with him and tucks a strand of black hair behind her ear. Wordlessly, she rises and pulls Shikamaru out of the bed, beckoning for Ino to follow her.

"So," Shikaku adjusts his position against the wall and raises an inquisitive eyebrow at Asuma. "Who did this? Shikamaru wasn't really in a position to tell us."

"Well, the day he was admitted Team Ten received a new member."

"Why? The previous Hokages have always been content to allow the Ino-Shika-Chou trio to operate as they will."

"The Sandaime told me that he believes that the rest of the Hidden Villages have grown used to the current trio and have devised jutsu and tactics to counter them. Thus, having a fourth member would give them at the very least a fighting chance of escape should they be ambushed or attacked by ninja trained in these methods."

"Oh. Hm. He didn't say anything to _me_ about it. Who did he assign?"

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"Minato's kid? Haven't seen him around that often. He wasn't at the academy, either. Know anything about that?"

"Dad told me that he feared for Naruto's safety. So he had an ANBU agent abduct him from his apartment under the guise of assassinating him. As far as I'm aware, he lives at the ANBU barracks and trained under three of them, two of which were Anko and Ibiki."

Shikaku whistles. "Not bad. How'd he fight?"

"I'd say at a low chuunin level. He took Shikamaru out in two hits. Cut off his ability to breathe and then forced the air out of his lungs." The other man winces.

"Ouch. He's one to watch, then?"

"Definitely."


	21. Concurrently, Part II: Psychology

Naruto follows Inoichi through Konoha's crowded streets, full of people eager to get to work or catch breakfast. The company of the jounin spares Naruto the worst of glares, but he still feels pairs of eyes glaring daggers between his shoulder blades.

"Where are we going?" Naruto asks to distract himself from everyone's glares.

"One of the ANBU interrogation rooms. I need to ask you some questions."

"What? Why? I didn't do anything!"

"I never said you did," Inoichi replies, pulling open the door to the nondescript office building that is ANBU headquarters.

"After you," he says, indicating for Naruto to go first. The blonde genin steps through the doorway and slightly off to the side, watching as the receptionist scribbles away. Inoichi moves past him a second later, hauling open a trap door in the middle of the floor. The two ninja descend the staircase and quickly traverse the hallway, which opens up into a large room. Branching off the room are several more hallways, none of them marked.

Naruto raises an eyebrow and Inoichi answers his obvious question. "They're not marked so that enemy ninja have no clue which way they're going, should they manage to infiltrate headquarters."

"Oh," the boy says as Inoichi leads him down the middle hallway, which is lined with doors on either side.

Inoichi ushers him into the last room on the left. Inside the room is a small square table made entirely of metal. A stool occupies the space to the right, while a high-backed leather chair occupies the table's left side. Almost immediately, Inoichi takes the chair, leaving Naruto to take the stool.

He glances around the room, studying it. The walls are also metal, the smooth silver color disrupted by what seem to be splotches of red paint. Before he can speculate further, however, the noise of fingers snapping brings his gaze back around to Inoichi.

"Pay attention," the interrogation specialist says, frowning. "It'll save your life one day, especially if you learn to notice the minor details. Now then, do you know what psychology is?"

"Eh…" Naruto grins sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Not…really."

"Don't they teach you kids anything these days?" The sigh that follows is exasperated.

"Yeah, they do. We just haven't hit the books, much."

Inoichi grins wolfishly. "We'll have to change that, then."

Naruto gulps.

Inoichi smirks evilly before rising from his chair and leaving the room. The door clicks shut behind him, leaving Naruto alone with nothing but a chair and stained walls for company. He stares at each stain, turning them over in his head and wondering how they got their individual shapes. Since there's no clock in the room, he has no idea how long it's been since he started staring at the stains. He has no idea how many minutes have elapsed since Inoichi walked out the door, the only thing heralding his exit being the click of the door lock as it slammed shut. Indeed, he is so wrapped up in his reverie that he doesn't even acknowledge Inoichi's re-entrance into the room. The thing that that _does_ shake him, though, is the loud thud of a book on the metal table.

"Wha? Huh? Where did you come from?" Naruto's voice is shaky as he points an accusing finger at Inoichi, who simply lifts an eyebrow in response.

"The same door you used, about five seconds ago. I left to go get this." He holds up the book, flipping it so that Naruto can see the cover.

"What is it?"

"A book."

"Well, duh," Naruto snarks, sticking his tongue out as he does so. Inoichi rolls his eyes. It seems, for all that Anko, Ibiki, and the rest have trained him, they still haven't managed to completely rein in that streak of childish impulsiveness.

"What's it for?"

The jounin smirks. "Reading."

The genin opens his mouth, about to retort, then closes it as the fact that Inoichi's answer is correct dawns on him.

"Okay…" Naruto pauses, turning over the conversation and Inoichi's answers in his head. "Why did you give it to me, and what am I going to do with it?"

"Ah," Inoichi snaps his fingers in front of his face, "_now_ you're asking the right questions. As to their answers, well, I gave it to you so you could learn, and the only way you can learn is by reading."

Naruto facepalms.

Without another word, Inoichi opens the book to the cover page and slides it over to the blond genin, his finger tapping the title. "Read."

"Psychology For Dummies: A Beginner's Guide," Naruto says, his eyes cutting across to Inoichi when he finishes.

"Keep going," the jounin encourages. Naruto flips to the first page and starts reading. Then the next, and so it goes. Every so often Inoichi will stop him at some point or another to explain some diagram or concept that eludes him and then tell him to go back to his reading. By the time Inoichi stops him some interminable time after he'd entered the room, Naruto's eyes ache.

He stands slowly, making sure his body doesn't topple over from sitting so long. When he tries to take a step, however, his legs refuse to move. The feel of one foot in front of the other is replaced by a thousand needles up the sides of his ankles. Flustered, he collapses back into the chair and starts methodically massaging his knees, working to drive away the pinpricks of pain. Once he's sure he can walk again, Naruto shoves himself to his feet and follows Inoichi out of the cell and back into the ANBU headquarters proper, then up into the building that serves as its front. Against the bare bulb in the cell, the large strip lights of the office are blinding. So too is the sun when he stumbles out into the street. Inoichi, now more than used to the changes in light, sighs and hauls the boy over his shoulder before going to meet with his team.


End file.
